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OctopusHeart calls himself entertaingly enough a uxorious house husband.
While not as dense and tangled as, say, Judith Butler the blog certainly has the flavor of postmodern ( – or maybe even postpomo – ) academicism. A description, not a judgement.
Introducing the idea of a power exchange to his wife:
When I first approached my wife with the idea of having a female led relationship*, I was seeking to (re)negotiate our love symbols not only in order to get more adequate love symbols to express myself (this is my interior balance between self and partner) but also so that we might meet and integrate with each other better and more intimately (which is my perspective on our exterior balance between self and partner). Well, my wife was rather skeptical about my idea. She naturally wanted adequate love symbols for her (her interior balance between herself and her partner) but she also wanted to get wherever our relationship was going in an organic and non-artificially structured way (her perspective on our exterior balance between herself and her partner).
Agreement & Ambiguity: Self/Other Balance
Cuckoldry is not my fetish. It is as alien as anything pertaining to sex can be. But I know that for many men it is source of rich and profound fantasies. For a rare few it is a reality of humiliating delight.
Most cuckolding on the web is trash: fake blogs and bad porn. But a few women who cuckold their very willing husbands have the talents for sharing their experiences.
Jinxy is one of the good ones. She has a blog, a forum and a couple of other cuckoldry sites. I’m going to point you to the forum, which will lead you to all the rest.
One the forum you can read the inevitable “feminized by wife and lover” and “sexless cuckold.” Jinxy’s husband participates as well.
Just Jinxy Forum
Strongnsubmissive sums it up all too well:
I’ve said this a thousand times – The only thing worse than being sexually different is being ALONE and sexually different. Inside i was screaming for companionship and an ear that could understand the language that i was speaking. With external relationships far behind me and trips to local munches a thing of the past, (they just caused too much friction with Bella) i yearned for someone who could understand me. Someone who could answer me when i’d ask: “Am i sexually flawed because i’m turned on by bondage, obedience and control?”
Of Mistresses Past…
Best term for female dominant, submissive male power exchange is:
- Femdom?
- LFA: Loving Female Authority?
- FLR: Female Led Relationship?
- Labels are a bad idea!
Why do masochistic and submissive men (and women) write more about their experiences and feelings that dominant women and men and sadists?
- Are bottoms more verbal?
- Do they have greater needs for self-expression?
- Are submissive persons and masochists more self-analytical?
- Do dominants fear exposing their inner workings?
- Are tops secretly shy?
While this doesn’t seem to be quite the web truism that it once was, clearly more bottoms blog and post on forums than to tops. Is there some hidden psychological factor at work?
Female Supremacy is:
- Male Fantasy?
- Female Fantasy?
After last weekend, my wife has kept up her demanding ways all week, but at the same time allowing/helping me come every night.
Before this week we would only play the game on some weekends and she would very rarely help me come otherwise. I masterbated a couple of times a week. I have not had to masterbate in 10 days a new record for me I think.
On Monday, she told me to start cooking as soon as I got home. She sat down and started watching TV. She was demanding all day. Asking me to massage her feet for an hour while she watched treasure hunters. At night she cuddled up beside me and gave me a hand job.
On Tuesday, I told her I thought we should have sex. She agreed.
– During the evening when I asked if she could pick something up she said – “well you want sex tonight don’t you”. She has become so blatent.
- Later she asked for a book and I could not find it, she found it and immediately said I needed a spank – I blew it off because she would say thing like this all the time.
- At night she was watching her video, when I came in she told me to go mop while she got in the mood.
– With the kitchen floor shiny, I came in and started massaging her pussy with my hand. Usually she stops the foreplay when she is ready. This night she clamped her legs around my hand and would not let it free until she was done.
– I asked her what about this holding my hard-on. She told me to get a towel and lay on my belly. She grabbed her whip and hit my butt hard. She then put on the TV and watched TV while she whipped me till I came.
On Wednesday she was bossy again. She told me if I was good I would get another spank since I like it so much. I told her my butt was sore and she called me a whimp. After a full evening of doing her will and her relaxing she did make me come by squeezing my nipples as I played with myself.
By Thursday it was obvious things had changed for the whole week as she sat on the couch and told me what she wanted for supper. When then evening was over and the house clean, I was on the bed on my belly being whipped again, with the TV on.
I am not sure what to think of her turning on the TV, watching David Letterman while she whips my butt. It kind of ruins the mood because of the distraction and knowing she is not paying attention to me. But the humilation of being just a distraction for her while she watches her show increases my horniness. And she is not in a rush to make me come when she is watching her show so she will sometimes take a break for a minute or so – increasing the intensity. In addition the submissive side of me is happy that she is happy watching her show.
So in the past week I had my butt whipped three times, as much as I had in the year before that. My wife had helped me come every night in some form or another, another record (my wife commented that she thought I would run out of come by now). I had cooked, cleaned and washed clothes every night. It was a good week, but my butt was starting to get sore from the whippings, but I am powerless to stop it.
I love my wife.
As valuable as telephone sex work is it should never be forgotten that it takes more than a working telephone. Angela St. Lawrence writes:
… Maybe it’s because I’ve always been right (can you believe it?) in my assertion that phone sex is more of a sales enterprise than a sex enterprise. Bells and whistles are important, but the quality of the interaction is what seals the deal. And it is the the salesperson/PSO who is responsible for that quality.
So, in fact, if someone does jump on board expecting a free and easy ride in the saddle of a caller’s horniness, you can bet that she will soon be sliding down the proverbial wall.
Phone Sex Wars: Reality vs. Fiction
My imagination filters reality and imbues her with a transcendence no living breathing person should have to live up to.
Our intimacy fosters an illusion of nonphysical distance.
…
My heart inclines to awe. It isn’t diminishing myself but magnifying her.
When my masochism blends with my surrender it is easy to picture her aglow with pure uncontainable power.
Female Supremacy as Metaphor
After a day of my wife being the boss, I always ask her what she enjoys most about it. I will list off the things and she will tell me how much she enjoys it.
She enjoys being pampered
She enjoys the clean kitchen
She enjoys her naps.
She enjoys me satisfying her without having to satisfy me immediately
She enjoys me using her “Friends” on her.
She enjoys her car being cleaned.
She enjoys her snacks.
I have used this to fine tune what I work on when she is the boss. I thought she would enjoy not having to deal with our youngest kid, but she said she enjoyed bonding with him, so let her hold him sometime. I thought she would enjoy the clothes being cleaned, but she said they get so backed up again afterward that it did not really matter that much.
So every week after we are done, I find out what she enjoyed most. I can use this to do better the next time…
I love my wife.
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