Many men write of wanting an unforgiving, overwhelming demanding, harsh and cruel dominant woman. Some men must have exactly that. Others of us are very much in love with our sadistic “Mistress.”
Maybe there are times this real flesh and blood person needs extra tender responsiveness after a strenuous power exchange. This came to mind when Alexandra wrote:
Dominants rarely speak of enjoying aftercare and for me it’s usually a time of quiet motherly leadership and reassuring affection, but I’m lucky in that my pet has a nurturing, almost motherly streak of his own (I have noted that at rare times he almost becomes womanly, though not in an overtly feminine way). Letting me squeeze him possessively and having him rub my worries away has always been a blessing for all aspects of my psyche.
If the woman needs post-scene care …
- Does that mean she isn’t a tough enough Domme?
- It is something you are willing to tolerate?
- That you love her even more?
Do you think dominant women tend to need aftercare?
- Yes
- Depends
- Maybe
- No
Do you think most men neglect this?
- Yes
- No
Is the neglect caused by:
- A lack of understanding, empathy?
- Too many Femdom porn sites?
- Selfishness?
- Laziness?
Additional F/m Aftercare References:
Originally posted 2007-05-11 08:34:06.
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I TOTALLY agree about the importance of aftercare for me as the Top. Without it, it feels tawdry and cheapened somehow… and I feel “off” if we skip or don’t spend enough time in this phase.
I guess that’s because I get off on the “power exchange” and feel like without the aftercare there was not exchange. Like I just “took” (by hurting, humiliating, draining, using the bottom) or even sometimes just “gave” (as in a hot scene, what they were asking for)without completing the feedback loop.
I have seen quite a disregard for the power of aftercare, but it’s been mostly with inexperienced virtual Tops and busy male Tops.
Thanks for the piece Alexandra.
MWK