When I discovered that dominant women are normally given the title Mistress it set me back. To me the word has always meant “kept woman.” She may have ensared him with her erotic wiles but his pocket book controls the relationship.
As a so called “Mistress/ dominatrix ” I can say being called mistress makes
me laugh. I have my subs call me Trish. I like power over men. I’m not into
it 24hrs a day because sometimes I need a MAN who will give me a cuddle and
make me feel safe and secure. How ever in the bedroom I am a bitch and I
demand total obedience to my wishes. I guess all those who enjoy power have
different requirements. Mine are very sexual. It is only when I am feeling
turned on do I require total control then I like to humiliate and debase my
men. The rest of the time I am very undemanding and enjoy a relationship of
equality. I have a sub partner, and I frequently have other sub males join
us so I my exercise sexual power over them. But PLEASE PLEASE don’t don’t
call me Mistress. My name is Trish, the guys I deal with are men. Brains in
their pricks ( sorry to be so crude) so having total control is easy without
having to give my elf any daft labels.
The idea of calling a woman Master reduces my mind to mush: it seems to unequivocal.
Setting aside the dictionary definitions so eloquently examined in this long thread, the socio-cultural implications of the word Mistress throughout its
historical usage led many dominant women to accept the title Master as more
applicable to and descriptive of their relationships.The title of Master was only ever able to be used ‘in the lifestyle’ in
earlier years (OldGuard-post world war II) upon completion of a one-to-one
mentoring relationship with an established Master. Both male and female
master-apprentices received the Master title upon a long path of growth.The use of the term Mistress (also historically used in a dominant
relationship in literature, as well as in submissive roles throughout
‘vanilla’ relationships) is fraught with just that ambiguously-laden past.
Dominant women then find themselves in a quandary. To continue to use
“Master” to connote their relationships hides their presence in the
Master/slave role – doing nothing to erase the ‘natural’ argument that was
presented here that Masters are male. Yet “Mistress” doesn’t equate to
“Master” in the range of connotation, images, and intents.
Originally posted 2007-03-14 12:18:39.
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My wife far prefers the term “Master” if I wish to use any sort of terminology like that at all. As long as I am obeying, “Honey” or “Yes Dear” work fine.
Still, early in our relationship I used the term “Mistress” ONCE. She didn’t like it at all. In her words: “A Mistress is a woman kept by someone elses’s husband.”
I like the Trish’s view on female dominance very much. I too love to be dominant in a relationship with men, but I think that there are always times in life that everyone needs a hand in the decision making department, and a hug as she said. Yes, even a femdom need these things!
If my male slaves act too pathetic all of the time, I will treat them as just that, and punish them far worse.
Mistress Kate