But submission is not always like a porn movie. Sometimes its hard, difficult, frustrating (in the bad sense). Sometimes there are arguments, misunderstandings. Sometimes real life just gets in the way.

I find myself slightly suspicious when I see blog/forum entries that’s basically describe a 24/7 porn movie BDSM lifestyle where everyone seems to be in everyone else’s pants all the time. No one seems to have job or child responsibilities, or ever seems get tired, ill, or just not in the mood.

Slavegirl Sissy

A Kinky Love Story
Femdom Blogs - Snippets from and pointers to blogs by submissive men & dominant women

Here’s how my FLR works:

“So we have edged back toward a rather elegant, understated, world in which I am the servant/lover of the very elegant lady of the house. Hannah is beautiful, nicely demanding and able to give an order without anyone, except me, knowing she has. Part of my duties is to be her maid, taking care of her clothes, making her bed; part is being her servant in the sense of serving her wine or a bit of cheese, doing laundry, wielding the vacuum; part is being her ardent, but always obedient, lover. We work these roles out as we go along.

The one certainty being that I accept and welcome Hannah’s discipline and acknowledge that I have no right to discipline or even talk back to her.” two alphas

Not for everyone, works for us.

Woman’s Servant, Not Slave
Femdom Blogs - Snippets from and pointers to blogs by submissive men & dominant women

As a reward for being good, she recently sent me a couple of recent photos. All I can say is….wow. She’s amazing. I don’t know how I got so lucky. She had to look at my fat ass in session so many times, and I got to look at her perfect body.

Before we met the first time, I was blown away by photos she had on her old website. Then when it came time for our first ever session, she was even more beautiful in person. These days photos will have to do, and I am so lucky to have them.

Fat and Tiny

Fat and Tiny
Femdom Blogs - Snippets from and pointers to blogs by submissive men & dominant women

While not as dense and tangled as, say, Judith Butler the blog certainly has the flavor of postmodern ( – or maybe even postpomo – ) academicism. A description, not a judgement.

Introducing the idea of a power exchange to his wife:

When I first approached my wife with the idea of having a female led relationship*, I was seeking to (re)negotiate our love symbols not only in order to get more adequate love symbols to express myself (this is my interior balance between self and partner) but also so that we might meet and integrate with each other better and more intimately (which is my perspective on our exterior balance between self and partner). Well, my wife was rather skeptical about my idea. She naturally wanted adequate love symbols for her (her interior balance between herself and her partner) but she also wanted to get wherever our relationship was going in an organic and non-artificially structured way (her perspective on our exterior balance between herself and her partner).

Agreement & Ambiguity: Self/Other Balance

Uxorious House Husband
Femdom Blogs - Snippets from and pointers to blogs by submissive men & dominant women

I’ve said this a thousand times – The only thing worse than being sexually different is being ALONE and sexually different. Inside i was screaming for companionship and an ear that could understand the language that i was speaking. With external relationships far behind me and trips to local munches a thing of the past, (they just caused too much friction with Bella) i yearned for someone who could understand me. Someone who could answer me when i’d ask: “Am i sexually flawed because i’m turned on by bondage, obedience and control?”

Of Mistresses Past…

Lonely and Submissive
Femdom Blogs - Snippets from and pointers to blogs by submissive men & dominant women

• See more on the fetish of SPH at Small Penis Humiliation at Sex is Funny

• Stupid people have bigger penises

Small Penis Humiliation
Femdom Blogs - Snippets from and pointers to blogs by submissive men & dominant women

How the F/m blogosphere has grown. At least on Blogspot, one day perhaps I’ll take a closer look at Live Journal and Bondage.com. (Though some of you must be an affluent bunch: it seems as if there are three bathrooms to clean and nobody buys ready to wear clothes.) In 2004 it seemed like there was only aspirant and Lady Myles.

Second Anniversary

Year Two
Femdom Blogs - Snippets from and pointers to blogs by submissive men & dominant women

Malesubs almost never understand that Femdommes prefer clever, smart, capable men. They may want to control the man but the seeming paradox is that he must be a man worth controlling. Dull, wimp doormats aren’t in short supply. I don’t think this is really mirrored in the gay S&M community. Gay men having stepped outside the boundary merely buy loving other men are more open to uncommon ways of finding sexual gratification.

And I think men (gay or straight) often think more of the physical pain than the quality of attitude. Dominant women are more often drawn to sacrificial love, worship if you will than the merely whipping (not that they don’t necessarily enjoy the whole experience).

But I don’t want this to drift into some half-essay on the nature of power exchange and gender. It is just a spare account of an afternoon when a dominant woman gave me a chance to explore my heterosexual submissive side.

On Labor Day of 2000 I had must first experience as a submissive. I wish I’d written about it then rather then rather than waiting until now when I’m in a bit of a rush and distracted.

Ms. Zandra and I had chatted on Yahoo a bit and had talked on the phone the night before but this was our first meeting. It was meant just to be two friends getting together.

We chatted for awhile. I’d had hardly any sleep the night before (partly from talking with her and partly from my habitual poor sleeping). I was anything but a lively talker that day.

She asked me if I wanted to see her floggers. What could I say but sure. So she went out to her car and brought back her bag of tricks.

And offered me a rite of passage into the world of BDSM.

She put cuffs on me tied them together, blindfolded me and wrapped a collar around my neck.

She alternated rubbing me with soft things with light flogging. And she put clothespins on my nipples.

At her instruction I said “Thank you, M’am” whenever anything actually hurt. I had no problem with the strongest flogging she felt like delivering. It confirmed my suspicion that I’m a natural pain slut. The blows excited me and made me want more.

She worked my right nipple harder than the other. Twisting the clothespin gave me the strongest pain. That made me very excited.

At the end she had me get down on my hands and knees and led me to a chair where I knelt as she petted me and rubbed my head. This last was really very moving. Something very humble and peaceful. I really wanted to rub my cheek against her shoes but didn’t know what to do.

After awhile she released me and it was over.

A real elation stayed with me for a couple of days. This was all clearly very much to my taste and left me wanting more.

I had only one subsequent experience. It was with a guy. He didn’t really have the knack for domination. It was short and he slapped me some with a riding crop and mild flogger.

Sadly he was so boring that pain never became pleasure. But it was hardly pain, just tedious.

Thanks Ms. Zandra, it was very kind of you.

My First Time
Femdom Blogs - Snippets from and pointers to blogs by submissive men & dominant women

For the first time last night, M confided in one of the women on her soccer club about our new arrangement. She called me into our den and had me sit next to her as she told her friend Julie everything about us. I sat there in silence as her friend was absolutely shocked by what she was hearing. Her friend kept saying things like “this is a joke, right?” as she looked back and forth at each of us. M put her arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to her as my hands remained by my side. After several minutes M was able to convince her this is very real. What was most impressive was how enthusiastic she became in explaining how fulfilling this has become for her. I remember her saying something like “just imagine how it would feel to be able to explore your deepest fantasies with a husband who not only accepts, but completely embraces your every need and desire.” My head was reeling as our previously insulated role reversal was now introduced to someone in the outside “vanilla” world. While certainly feeling a measure of humiliation, I was also turned on to see my once shy wife tell her friend Julie about her dominance over our new sex life, about how my body is always clean shaven (“so soft and smooth”), about how I’ve learned to cook and clean and give the best messages. By the end of the night Julie was actually becoming envious of my wife. At one point she asked M if she could “borrow me”. They both got such a laugh out of that. She then commented about when she gets home her husband will come home later after drinking with his friends, and demand a blow job. M stood up and took Julie’s hand and told her “it doesn’t have to be that way”.

Crossing Over

What Is In It For the Woman?
Femdom Blogs - Snippets from and pointers to blogs by submissive men & dominant women

KISS #1: “Sex for Her is Her right; sex for you is Her treat.”

Key Insights of a Successful Submissive (Part 1)

KISS #2: “She has Authority to make mistakes.”

Key Insights of a Successful Submissive (Part 2)

KISS #3: “Study Her and observe all you can about Her.”

Key Insights of a Successful Submissive (Part 3)

KISS #4: “Any fault lies not with my Wife but in myself.”

Key Insights of a Successful Submissive (Part 4)

KISS #5: Sex Life Reflects Real Life

Key Insights of a Successful Submissive (Part 5)

LFA / FLR – Keys to Success
Femdom Blogs - Snippets from and pointers to blogs by submissive men & dominant women