Prose
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A Humane Contract
The most famous M/s contract is a ghastly joke, over specifying far too many details of behavior. Probably more often reproduced than followed.
Many are straightforward statements of power and responsibility. But they aren’t imaginative or individual to the couple. Just sort of embody a number of BDSM clichés.
The contract that Dev is working on is a fine human document really fit to clarify and provide assurance for the two people in the relationship.
Example:
You may sometimes fear that you don’t know how to serve me. It is my wish that you be calm and relaxed and trust that if I am not pleased, or if I have a desire, I will express it. If you are not pleasing me I will correct you. If I want your service I will demand it. And please trust that I will often want and demand your service.
I want you to strive. I want you to hold yourself to high standards. But I also want you to accept my love, kindness, and mercy. I want you to view yourself with love and forgiveness. I want you to understand that I see you as a beautiful person deserving of love.
Public Protocols
I’ve certainly posted enough about protocols and ritual behavior. But - because it doesn’t interest me I guess - never about regulated behavior in public spaces.
On Fetish Lore, Devastating has shared a few levels of public protocols:
My boy Joscelin and I go to a local bdsm club a couple of times a month and, while there, we usually have special protocols for him to observe. This is my first stab at having several levels of formality. I think reading and following this will turn him on and put him into a very submissive mindset, and I’m excited about it. I thought I’d share them with you guys in case they’re fun, hot, informative, or thought-provoking. Comments, critiques, angry rebuttals, etc. are welcome.
Her list at Protocols
“Yes, Mistress”
Depending about how you feel about them BDSM honorifics are boring, artifical, complicated, arousing. (I vote for all of the above.)
Devastating Yet Inconsequential has found a playful use for the femdom favorite “Mistress:”
To deal with this last thing, we have introduced a new protocol, which is that he is to respond with “Yes, Mistress” in response to an instruction and never in response to a request for a favor. If he guesses wrong I’ll correct him (not to be mean, but to help make sure he knows what’s going on). The truth is that almost everything I ask of him is either explicitly an order, or something I’m happy to have interpreted that way. (An exception would be something like “Would you please hold me? I feel like I’m going to cry.”
A Contract for Dominants
There are plenty of D/s contracts for bottoms (submissive persons, slaves). Many silly, no small number downright wrongheaded.
Thisgirl speculated about a contract for tops (dominants, masters, mistresses). A few random extracts:
I want to help develop and nuture your submission and help you understand this side of yourself. I will torture your body and push it to your limits but not overstep your boundaries. I will keep the play interesting and not let it get boring or stale.
In her commentary on the contract Lenora of Enchanted Palms wrote:
So for the submissive there has to be some “risk” in signing the contract, some area or factor(s) that leave at least a hint of uncomfortableness. Without that element the contract feels like a cubic zirconium engagement ring: important perhaps as a symbol but of extremely limited value.
I’m still rolling that around in my mind. At the very least there probably will be the discomfort of doubt: wondering if it can be lived up to.
It’s Not Like Signing Up For A Gym Membership
I have any number of mutually incompatible feelings about BDSM contracts. I will own that if nothing else they can be hot and sexy.
If the D/s relationship needs to be bound, defined, clarified by prose - not that a clever person couldn’t do it in verse - formal agreements from both sides seems a reasonable approach.
Femdom Contract
A rather peculiar female dominant / male submissive contract: omits many things, include some odd things. Presented as an example of the many possible variations. Useful for a play scene at best.
- You voluntarily bow and kiss my hand as my humble servant, respecting the feminine aspects of my divinity. Mutual confidentiality is expected in our Mistress / slave relationship.
- You are to obey every command of mine. If any command is disobeyed, you understand that corporal punishment may or may not be inflicted at my discretion.
- Your code word is MERCY. If for some reason you cannot obey a command, your pain threshold has been reached or I must be notified regarding a safety or anything you feel uncomfortable with, you must use the code word MERCY before you speak and this contract will be immediately modified in relation to the circumstances at that time.
- If you are gagged, the code is to SNAP YOUR FINGERS.
- You agree to use the code word MERCY and notify me immediately regarding any genuine safety concerns that I may or may not be aware.
- Prior to this session and/or any future sessions, you are to list any relevant health matters and explain how they may affect our relationship.
- You understand that you assume all risk for any injuries, unless I act in a grossly negligent manner.
- If you want to touch yourself in any way whatsoever, including scratching your nose, you must beg and/or ask permission.
- If you want to touch me, you must ask my permission.
- I distinguish between domination and humiliation. Domination is where I order you around, telling you what to do. Humiliation is where I insult or demean you e.g. Bitch, slut whore, pathetic beast, animal etc. I will use humiliation at my discretion, but will consider your feelings on this issue.
- If you are interested in any role plays, we can discuss your fantasy. If you want to write me a fantasy, that is fine. However, I never follow a fantasy exactly, because I refuse to be told what to do. Further, I never agree to any portions of any fantasies that contain illegal conduct. Following are examples of fantasy role plays: Tortured as a Witch; Tortured as an international Spy/Communist; Teacher/student; Strict Aunt; Mistress/maid; You are treated as an animal; Kidnaping and robbery fantasy.
Indicate your level of interest by ciricling appropriate letters:
- NI=NO INTEREST
- L=LIGHT
- M=MEDIUM
- H=HEAVY
- WT=WILL TRY
Confess
your sins
and beg for
forgiveness
NI L M H WT
Ordered
to wear the
gates of hell
to prevent lust
NI L M H WT
Spanking
NI L M H WT
Whipping
NI L M H WT
Caning
NI L M H WT
Marks/welts
NI L M H WT
Bondage
NI L M H WT
Biting
NI L M H WT
Scratching
NI L M H WT
Wrapped
in plastic
NI L M H WT
Blindfolds
NI L M H WT
Hood
NI L M H WT
Mask
NI L M H WT
Gags
NI L M H WT
Humiliation
NI L M H WT
Foot Worship NI L M H WT
Body Worship
NI L M H WT
Ridden like
horse
NI L M H WT
Treated like
dog
NI L M H WT
Ordered to
wear cock ring
NI L M H WT
Dildo training
NI L M H WT
Fellatio on
strap on dildo
NI L M H WT
Ordered to wear
nipple
clamps
NI L M H WT
CBT with candle
wax
NI L M H WT
Nipple torture with candle
wax
NI L M H WT
Electroplay
NI L M H WT
Tied and tickled
NI L M H WT
Ordered to wear female lingerie
NI L M H WT
Forced to be transformed to a girl
NI L M H WT
Ordered to dance
NI L M H WT
Ordered to
sing
NI L M H WT
Ordered to
clean house
NI L M H WT
Forced to be a
piece of
furniture
NI L M H WT
Suspension
NI L M H WT
Consensual BDSM Agreement
This document specifies the responsibilities of _______________
(hereafter, “the Dominant”) and _______________ (hereafter, “the
submissive”) as a part of a consensual bondage/discipline,
dominance/submission, sadism/masochism (hereafter, “BDSM”) agreement
between them. This is a private agreement between the Dominant and the
submissive (hereafter, “the Parties”), and under no circumstances are any
or all of the contents of this agreement to be given to any other party,
except:
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
1. PERIOD OF AGREEMENT. This agreement shall be valid from midnight of
__________ until midnight of __________. This agreement shall immediately
become null and void if any of the following occur:
1.1. Either of the Parties becomes seriously ill, is hospitalized, or
dies;
1.2. Either of the Parties delivers notice to the other of his or her
desire to terminate this agreement.
2. CONSIDERATION OF THE DOMINANT. In consideration for the submissive’s
fulfillment of this agreement, the Dominant agrees to guide and shape the
submissive with respect to sexual, sensual, and scene–related behaviors,
and to help the submissive work toward the realization of being a happy
and self–fulfilled individual. To this end, the Dominant agrees to carry
out the following provisions, to the best of his or her ability:
2.1. GENERAL OBLIGATIONS – The Dominant shall attend to the physical,
mental, and emotional well–being of the submissive. As such, it is
incumbent upon the Dominant to question the submissive in such a fashion
as to ensure that the Dominant has sufficient information to fulfill his
obligations to the submissive.
2.2. TRAINING SESSIONS – The Dominant shall provide at least one formal
BDSM training session per month. These sessions will always conclude with
a formal caning.
2.3. PUNISHMENT AND REWARD – The Dominant shall punish the submissive for
inappropriate and/or undesirable behaviors, actions, habits, thoughts,
etc. The Dominant shall reward the submissive for appropriate and/or
desirable behaviors, actions, habits, thoughts, etc. The nature of any
punishments and rewards shall be strictly left to the judgment of the
Dominant, except that they shall not include:
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2.4. TOOLS AND SUPPLIES – Except for the submissive’s formal training cane
(see Section 5), the Dominant shall furnish all tools and implements of
correction. The Dominant shall also provide any necessary safer sex
supplies.
3. CONSIDERATION OF THE SUBMISSIVE. In consideration for the Dominant’s
fulfillment of this agreement, the submissive agrees to be the Dominant’s
personal servant and sex slave. To this end, the submissive agrees to
fulfill the following requirements, to the best of his or her ability:
3.1. OBEDIENCE – The submissive will devote himself or herself, in mind
and in body, to the will of the Dominant. The submissive will obey the
Dominant without question, within the limits of the submissive’s personal
safety and ability to earn a living.
3.2. TRUTHFULNESS – The submissive agrees to answer any question put to
him or her by the Dominant as clearly and as truthfully as is possible.
3.3. FITNESS – In order to better serve the Dominant, the submissive will
strive to maintain and improve his or her health and vitality. The
submissive agrees to promptly inform the Dominant of any physical
discomfort, such as back or knee pain, that might affect the ability of
the submissive to serve the Dominant.
3.4. CLEANLINESS – The submissive agrees to maintain personal cleanliness
in a manner suitable for serving the Dominant. If directed to do so by the
Dominant, the submissive specifically agrees to:
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
3.5. DRESS – The submissive agree to wear clothing of the Dominant’s
choice, including specified undergarments while in public, except that the
Dominant will not require the submissive to wear any of the following:
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
3.6. AVAILABILITY – The submissive agrees to make his or her body
available whenever, wherever, and however the Dominant wishes, except that
the Dominant will not require the submissive to do any of the following:
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
3.7. SERVICE – The submissive agrees to maintain and clean all tools and
implements of correction, as directed by the Dominant. The submissive
agrees to perform, to the best of his or her ability, any household task
the Dominant requires of him or her, except that the Dominant will not
require the submissive to do any of the following:
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
3.8. RESPECTFULNESS – The submissive agrees to address the Dominant as
__________ unless otherwise directed. The submissive agrees to speak to
and about the Dominant with respect.
3.9. PUBLIC ATTENDANCE – The submissive agrees to accompany the Dominant
to one BDSM social event each month. The submissive agrees to “attend” the
Dominant at these events, and the submissive specifically renounces any
right to move freely while doing so.
4. SYMBOLS OF OWNERSHIP. The Dominant shall provide the submissive with a
token symbolizing the Dominant’s ownership of and responsibility toward
the submissive. This token shall be suitable to wear in all circumstances
and shall be worn by the submissive at all times. The Dominant shall also
furnish the submissive with a collar, which the submissive is to wear
while at the Dominant’s home and BDSM community events. Both the token and
the collar are the property of the Dominant, and shall be returned to the
Dominant upon the expiration or termination of this agreement.
5. FORMAL TRAINING CANE. Before the onset of formal training, the
submissive shall provide the Dominant with a piece of rattan, which shall
be used by the Dominant to fashion a formal training cane. The rattan
shall be at least 3 feet in length, approximately d inch in diameter, and
otherwise meet with the approval of the Dominant. The Dominant shall use
the formal training cane only on the submissive and only during formal
training sessions.
6. TRAINING JOURNAL. The submissive shall make daily entrees in a training
journal. Entries shall be at least 350 words in length, and are to be made
without the use of any first person singular pronouns (I, me, my, or
mine). In addition, all references to the submissive shall be in
lowercase, while all references to the Dominant shall be capitalized. The
journal is to be addressed to the Dominant, and may be read by the
Dominant at any time. The Parties shall not share the contents of the
journal with any other person. Upon the dissolution or expiration of this
agreement, the submissive shall retain sole possession of the journal.
7. SAFEWORD. The submissive’s safeword shall be Mercy. If the submissive
calls out “Mercy,” then the Dominant will immediately cease whatever
activity is in progress. The submissive will then be given sufficient
opportunity to voice concerns or make requests. The Dominant will then, to
the best of his or her ability and in full consideration of the
submissive’s well–being, decide whether and how to proceed with the
activity.
8. “STOP” COMMAND. The submissive’s “stop” command shall be Terminate Now.
If the submissive calls out “Terminate Now,” then the dominant will
immediately cease whatever activity is in progress. The activity is at
that point unconditionally over, and may not be resumed during the
session.
9. NONVERBAL SAFETY SIGNALS. Anytime the submissive is to be gagged or the
submissive’s ability to speak is to be otherwise impaired or eliminated,
then the Parties shall establish nonverbal safety signals to be used by
the submissive in place of the safeword and “stop” command.
10. LIMITATIONS. The Parties agree to never knowingly subject the other to
anything that will cause permanent physical and/or psychological harm.
Notwithstanding any other provision of this agreement, the Parties shall
not do anything that would in any way damage or harm the children of any
of the Parties, nor do anything which would interfere with the family
and/or parental obligations of the other, nor do anything which would
interfere with the employment obligations and/or the employability of the
other.
Signed this ______ day of __________, _____.
______________________________________
Dominant
______________________________________
submissive
Slave Training / Punishment : Mighty Serious
Foot worship sounds like really awful punishment doesn’t it?
“Training” is a word that I’m starting to use when corporal punishment or
play doesn’t fit. More specificaly, ritualized regular c/p/p. It’s a bit
like foot kissing or using titles and so on. It seems to reenforce
submission but with sensation plus ceremony. Mmmmm.. good potential here i
think. I’l bet there’s plenty you out there that do this.
The top says punishment is no fun?
Real punishments for me, and I have only had to carry out two,
have been at special set aside times , in much *colder /formal*
space , and I have always made clear it is a formal punishment ,
detailed what it was for , and why I am punishing .
It is also made clear that I was not derriving any pleasure from it
and neither should he .Training, using punishment to reinforce by ritual for me runs very
close to scening for pleasure, scening to develop play patterns, to
test limits .. to ADD that certain Edge …..( ie just another weapon
!).
How sober and dull:
I teach etiquette, manners and gracious living; contemporary and Victorian to
vanilla as well as lifestylist singles and couples. When I’m teaching a
lifestylist (dominant or submissive/slave, I use methods that incorporate bdsm,
as well as insuring clarification so that these skills can be used in both the
vanilla as well as the lifestyle world. When I am teaching one of “my own” I
am concerned that the lessons get across and if I feel the need to punish,
there is no play, there is no training, there is punishment, with the clear
understanding as to what it is for, the fact that I truly hate doing it, and
that it is meant to be for something that is Not to be repeated, thereby
insuring compliance. Dismissal is what results if that compliance is not
achieved.
Symbol of Submission
Some submissive persons and slaves wear items as physical symbols of the power exchange. Particularly when they are apart from their dominant partner, say, at work.
For submissive guys the most common choice - with sad narrowness of vision - is an article of feminine attire: panties.
Do you wear - or would you like to wear - something, visible or hidden - as a emblem of your place in your D/s relationship?
- Necklace?
- Bracelet?
- Medallion?
- Genital Restraint?
- Lingerie?
- Or … ?
Punishments & Rewards System
People are often looking for systems of reward and punishment within D/s. Excertped below is a portion of an exceedingly complex arrangement:
Here is how it works:
The bottom is locked into a “foundation” garment such as a catsuit (or,
perhaps, a chastity belt or a collar) and not allowed to remove it
until a certain “quota” of “PointZ” have been earned. Each hour the
foundation garment is worn, a certain number of “PointZ” are earned, as
defined in a pre-defined “PointZ Play List” or “PPL”. Wearing
additional garments, engaging in certain activities (or refraining from
them) or being put into various situations according to the PPL may
also be a source of additional PointZ. Once the quota is attained, the
foundation garment may be removed. Quota sizes are set based on the
degree of stringency desired. The sooner the bottom wants to be
released from the foundation garment, the more fervently he needs to do
certain activities to reach the quota! The key to the system is
creating a well designed and comprehensive PointZ Play List.Here are some basic definitions.
QUOTAS
The Quota is a numerical goal to earn a specific number of “PointZ”
before the bottom is entitled to a specified “reward”. Quotas are
assigned by the Top and are based on an intuitive perception of the
bottom’s’ general horniness, appetite for exploring limits and
extremes, desire for a long or short term ordeal and many other complex
human factors. There may also be more than one “sub-quota” in a given
session. Tops may specify in great detail how the PointZ are to be
earned or the subject may be given varying degrees of choice in the
matter. In any case, the Top always controls the overall intensity and
duration of the session by varying the size of the Quota. The
assignment of Quotas requires a great deal of candid communication
between Top and bottom to be done effectivley.PointZ Play List (or “PPL”)
The key to an effecive PointZ program is a PPL that is pre-defined,
comprehensive, precisely worded and well thought-out. PointZ may be
based on time or events according to a PointZ Play List which is
pre-defined prior to the beginning of a session. Wearing rubber
garments or enduring various forms of bondage or sacrifice or engaging
in some activity may earn a specified number of PointZ for each hour
they occur. For example, wearing a pair of rubber gloves might earn 10
PointZ per hour. Event-based PointZ result from the culmination of a
specified event such as having or giving orgasms, and/or completing
various tasks. “Negative” PointZ may also be earned as the result of
failing to do something such as not abstaining from masterbation, etc.
Tops may specify that the entire PPL or just certain items on it may
eligble for earning PointZ for a specific session. Note that a PPL will
grow in scope over time and becomes a handy “shopping list” of ideas
for future play sessions, as well.REWARD
A Reward is an event or permission that is awarded to the subject upon
completion of a Quota. The most common form of Reward might be
permission to remove a particular “foundation” rubber garment such as a
catsuit upon earning, say, 2,500 PointZ. A “sub-Reward” while wearing
the catsuit might be that your subject must also have some handcuffs
unlocked once a “sub-quota” of, say, 500 PointZ has been earned. This
provides flexibility in engaging the subject in various other “sub
themes” (e.g. handcuffs) within a larger theme (e.g. the catsuit).
The whole article: “PointZ” System of Erotic Play
Femdom Punishment System
Mistress Evils has been writing about training her novitiate:
Since re-training has commenced, my novitiate and I have begun to iron out all of the details regarding transgressions — what constitutes wrongdoing, what requires punishment and which of these also should be mollified by Penance. This is a work in progress, but so far, here’s the short list of transgressions and sentences thereof.
There follows a list of highly structured punishments for dealing with things like disrespectful behavior and impure thoughts.