Prose
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Worst Profile or Personal Ad
On Fetish Meme:
We’ve all seen personal ads that make us laugh. Some profiles cause you to cringe. Been sent annoying and wrongheaded emails and instant message. And some people have had the bad luck - or been too careless in screening people - to be trapped in a scene with an unskilled or recklessly selfish top or bottom.
So: Are You Bisexual or Heterosexual?
Those darn closeted bisexual tops.
Your profile (or personal ad) says you are a heterosexual man. But you write to me. Since you never say anything like “I’m a straight guy who wants to humiliate a homo,” I have to guess that you are really bisexual but don’t want to state that visibly even on a website devoted to helping us kinky perverts get together.
Promote Your Site
I get requests to list blogs and sites that don’t match this site’s theme. I’m a great believer in narrowcasting: hewing closely to a topic to better enable people to find what may help them.
I do maintain a more generalized sexuality directory and am happy to list most any noncommercial blog or site and many commercial websites as well. The sites don’t have to focus on fetish or kink (that of course is fine), any sort of atypical sexuality, sexual help, art or prose is welcome.
And listings are free. If you have or know of a site that should be listed please submit it.
Online BDSM Conversations, Discussions
One problem not only with some discussions but with actual D/s interaction in general is that people don’t’ carefully maintain some key distinctions.
In BDSM people meet to establish
- A loving romance
- A kinky friendship
- A regular play partnership
- Power exchange only
The intended interaction may be
- Strong interpersonal connection
- Convenience
- Real life
- Online only
Some people are
- Monogamous
- Polyamorous
- Engage in BDSM in which both of the above are irrelevant
This often cause people to unknowingly talk at cross purposes, feel offended and confused.
When reading and responding to an online discussion it is always worth the time to seek to understand the other person’s
- Premises
- Context
- Intentions
Otherwise you create a mere verbal jungle.
Not that I find fault myself with any part of this discussion. But often I fear – both here and elsewhere – that people don’t really keep the above in mind. They, unwittingly make too many assumptions.
Why Can’t I Find a Slave or Mistress?
What do you think is stopping you from finding the right top (sadist, dominant) or bottom (masochist, submissive person)?
Possibile Causes
You:
- Your geographical location
- Your shyness
- Your inexperience
Them:
- Their selfishness
- Their inarticulateness
- Their bad manners
Both:
- Busy
- Nerves
- Tiredness
- Laziness
- Physical appearance
- Family
- Friends
Or one of the myriad possibilities not listed above?
Friendly Femdom Conversations
I know it must seem daft of me to create yet another website and a forums site at that. It is notoriously hard to get forums going: most people are silent passive lurkers.
But I really do enjoy good-natured, speculative conversations about our erotic peculiarities and obsessions. Hence I’ve established Fetish Lore.
I hope to attract two particular groups of visitors in particular.
1
Women and men who feel that simple labels restrict rather than define them. Who enjoy imaginative discussions of BDSM and fetishes. And will do so civilly: there are more than enough bullies on the web.
And have a sense of humor.
2
Many women and men when starting out to explore dominance and submission often get confused. Porn sites and pompous preachers of the One True Way to practice “Femdom” often subject them to images that don’t match their own sense of themselves or their real desires. (And it takes time to distinguish those real desires from fantasies.)
I hope to provide them with a comfortable place to chat and learn.
Visit the Fetish Lore forums.
Valentine’s Day Greetings
Alexandra and I exchange Valentine’s Day greetings from our respective sites:
Femdom Writers : A Double Standard
Miss Trecia notes a double standard that has often amused me to no end when reading guys responding to blog entries and forum posts by dominant women:
Another interesting phenomena: have you ever noticed the ratio of atta boys on posts/stories/captions/teases male to female? Sadly I have. I like, no LOVE, reading smart, sexy, and twisted shit and I have noticed too often that some of THE best shit goes unsung, if the author is male conversely if the hand that penned the piece was of female origin its BRILLIANT. I have read some jr high creative writing submissions that were praised and reviewed as the next Pulitzer Prize winning piece, because the body behind the keyboard is female. Thats fucked up and NOT inna good way. It doesnt help us - it can give us a false sense of skill and can make for lazy and self-indulgent preaching. If I write something good I wanna know the compliments I am getting are on my piece and not the mere presence of my pretty pink parts. I have often considered penning something as a dude and seeing what kinda response I get. I have heard some of my favorite online authors (male) threaten to assume female pennames.
Almost everything I have EVER posted (yes even some of the more boring and/or offensive stuff), has been received with some pleasant response. And I was very warmly received and widely supported when I made the decision to pop the bubble of My own creation. (see also: THE Unholy Trinity piece) I cannot express how much I respect and appreciate many of the contacts I have made here. I have made some lifelong friends. There are people that I have met here- that I feel more akin to people I know and have known for most My life. You people, know me better than my family because I share even the dark and dirty with you.
Femdom Blog Agendas, Falsehoods & Fakes
Bonnie writes of the people who try to turn female domination blogs into propanganda tools for pushing their own agenda.
So many on the blogger sphere try to tell newbie’s and the committed to the lifestyle you must do this or that, this way in order to member of the Femdom Fan club. I have been on told numerous occasions, that because I don’t pee in my slaves mouth I’m a Domme..that because I punish and correct bad behavior via pain I’m not in a LFA lead relationship…that because I have children I’m not living a 24/7 life style. because I don’t make my boy’s wear a chastity device I’m not practicing D/s…who cares LOL why do I have to be compartmentalized why cant I just be me ?…my slave naked at feet ready to make me happy no matter what my decision him giving up his power and me taking it…a power exchange. isn’t that what Femdom revolves around not who does what to whom and what manner. I don’t blame a lot of the blogger’s for disappearing or hiding when the answer they give are not the answers the reader wants to hear. or they are burnt out from the derivative thoughts and opinions. And its also no wonder why there are so many fakers.
Will the real Femdom please stand up !!!!
Rudness on Blogs About the Female Domination of the Male
Why would any submissive man take time to write trash like this to a woman as nice as Lady Julia?
… Anyone with any understanding of female dominance realizes the FemDom concept is totally foreign to you because you’re really submissive. To your credit you seem to be deluded into believing you are Domme instead of being a complete fabricator. You’ve run out of your warped drivel to spout so you post inane things like these stupid song lyrics. You don’t write with any regularity or depth and it’s obvious there isn’t anything in your “FemDom” life worth writing about.