Prose
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Submissive Son
Mistress Kathy shares her feelings about her son and Femdom:
Everyone who has followed this blog know that I have a son. The question that comes to me is how would I feel if he fell in love with a dominant women who proceeded to make him into something of a slave husband. The truth is that I would be very happy for him. I would love to see him in a ‘loving’ relationship with a lady who controlled him. Considering how submissive John is, I would suspect our son is also submissive.
How to Find Male Slaves
Mistress Evita outlines the procedure by which she searches for new slaves. The basic routine:
- An initial email to request the first application form.
- The first application form
- The second application form
- Phone call(s)
- Meeting
She feels this has worked well for her but with the caveat that it is very time-consuming.
Female Led Marriage in Public
Part of a man’s confession of when his wife decided to make his inferior status in their marriage visible to others.
“Who told you to bring those down? You are not supposed to have any say in when you get punished.” I had recently printed of DWCmike’s post about topping from the bottom and Angie had clearly taken it to heart.
“When I saw them on the bed, I thought you were sending me a message that you would be needing them this morning. I am sorry Angie, I’ll take them upstairs again.”
“No leave them down here; you are going to get a caning this morning” and so it was.
Tipping point - my wife makes her dominance public
A Most Sadistic Woman
My first exploration to sadomasochism outside my fantasies was surely Larry Townsend’s Leatherman’s Handbook. Much later I would read about S&M on usenet newsgroups.
Myles’ was the first blog that I discovered by a sadistic, dominant woman. I’d run across and featured a few “maledom, femsub” blogs on my oldest sexuality site. Balance seemed to require the dominant women and masochistic men.
I found two that were active. Aspirant’s lamentedly gone A Slave’s Path (best wishes to him, whatever is happening in his life) and Myles’ Evil Torturing Angel. Not finding more - hard to imagine now - I put my project on the backburner. It wasn’t until I started Down On My Knees that I finally posted the entry on Amorous Propensities.
When Myles first commented on my site I was deeply moved. As sort of “number one” she has always had a special place. And the beautiful oxymoronic quality of a torturing angel moved me as well.
And I’ll confess that I feel a certain awe of Myles. I’ve read lots of cruel prose. And correspond with plenty of sadistic women. But when I look into Myles’ virtual eyes I dizzily feel I see much of my own depths - from the opposite side - cooling staring back.
She makes me wish I were younger, healthier and single. Don’t take that amiss. I know what a very lucky man I am to have Alexandra. What we share really works.
Years ago elsewhere I wrote of an erotically exciting personality. That people did not understand what I meant greatly baffled me. Hasn’t anyone experienced a mind that reaches your erotic core? I have over the web. A few times.
And in my lovers a gesture or vocal quality has been the source of their sexual beauty. Not that I don’t like pretty, handsome or whatnot. The psychosexual appeal of another’s sexuality and persona should be obvious. And honor and clarity are very sexy.
Not that I fantasize about Myles. I never do that kind of thing. Even though I’m talking about BDSM it is an innocent erotic esteem. This is something I’ve long enjoy, never worrying about issues of the flesh.
This for this site is an exceptionally long preamble. But I was feeling pretty amped up already. On my forum site I asked tops if they had problems coping with accepting their brutal desires, maintaining a balance and not letting what a bottom offers them become an addictive source of self-respect.
Myles answered:
On Fetish Lore:
I stopped playing and interacting with people involved in BDSM for a 3 year period because of this. I realized that I was seeking the adoration of my submissives in an attempt to create a semblance of self-esteem. It wasn’t working for me, and if anything, was making my struggle to accept my sadism even harder. I didn’t return to play until I had done some intensive work on some deep-seated issues and resolved a bunch of internal conflict.
She also pointed to an old entry on Evil Torturing Angel:
I can’t even recall the number of canes I broke, or how many times I had to bite back a howl of pain because I had to stop for a safeword. I wasn’t content or even momentarily sated unless I drew blood, lots of it, and I was so exhausted and sore I could barely lift my arms.
And today she published a long entry:
Sadism and dominance is woven throughout my being. I can’t separate the two, any more than I can just stop being one or the other, or both. Even the most sensual pleasure with a partner, for me, has some level of infliction of pain involved, either physical or psychological.
(Again: what I wrote above implies no lack of happiness in my relationship with Alexandra. The mind does what it does.)
S&M Fun at the Movies
Everyone taps popular culture as a source of erotic fantasy material. Though it can be a bit tougher for those of us with sadomasochistic needs.
Eileen does a great job of sharing her own use of movies in the entry the following paragraph is excerpted from:
Why do I do this? Of course it helps that generally the actors in movies are twelve thousand times more attractive than real life people, and at least fifteen thousand times more attractive than most film porn stars. It helps that these moments are on demand, at least to the extent of my DVD collection. But most of all I think it’s a combination of personal connection and absence of guilt. I have a personal connection with the character of Superman because I have known who Superman was possibly since before I could read. (I read at the age of three, so there’s a good geeky insight for you.) So having this character I know so well get beat up by a crowd of roughnecks is appealing, and sexy. But I also know that in the end, Superman’s an actor, he didn’t actually get stabbed with a kryptonite spear in the new movie, and it’s really and truly okay if I want to play that moment of him falling to his knees six times in a row.
Law & Order : Special Spankees Unit
Elizabeth is quite a treat:
I’m embarrassed to say that I did a google search on the terms “spanking Christopher Meloni” a few months back. I don’t think I would have been embarrassed if my search turned up any results, but in the whole World Wide Web, I’m apparently the only person who harbors a fervent desire to bend him over, tie him up, and put him on the receiving end of a long afternoon with a leather strap, followed by unmentionable intimacies.
Female Masters
When I discovered that dominant women are normally given the title Mistress it set me back. To me the word has always meant “kept woman.” She may have ensared him with her erotic wiles but his pocket book controls the relationship.
As a so called “Mistress/ dominatrix ” I can say being called mistress makes
me laugh. I have my subs call me Trish. I like power over men. I’m not into
it 24hrs a day because sometimes I need a MAN who will give me a cuddle and
make me feel safe and secure. How ever in the bedroom I am a bitch and I
demand total obedience to my wishes. I guess all those who enjoy power have
different requirements. Mine are very sexual. It is only when I am feeling
turned on do I require total control then I like to humiliate and debase my
men. The rest of the time I am very undemanding and enjoy a relationship of
equality. I have a sub partner, and I frequently have other sub males join
us so I my exercise sexual power over them. But PLEASE PLEASE don’t don’t
call me Mistress. My name is Trish, the guys I deal with are men. Brains in
their pricks ( sorry to be so crude) so having total control is easy without
having to give my elf any daft labels.
The idea of calling a woman Master reduces my mind to mush: it seems to unequivocal.
Setting aside the dictionary definitions so eloquently examined in this long thread, the socio-cultural implications of the word Mistress throughout its
historical usage led many dominant women to accept the title Master as more
applicable to and descriptive of their relationships.The title of Master was only ever able to be used ‘in the lifestyle’ in
earlier years (OldGuard-post world war II) upon completion of a one-to-one
mentoring relationship with an established Master. Both male and female
master-apprentices received the Master title upon a long path of growth.The use of the term Mistress (also historically used in a dominant
relationship in literature, as well as in submissive roles throughout
‘vanilla’ relationships) is fraught with just that ambiguously-laden past.
Dominant women then find themselves in a quandary. To continue to use
“Master” to connote their relationships hides their presence in the
Master/slave role - doing nothing to erase the ‘natural’ argument that was
presented here that Masters are male. Yet “Mistress” doesn’t equate to
“Master” in the range of connotation, images, and intents.
Femdom Porn —– For Women!
How many blogs by dominant women are funny? Not nearly enough. Then there’s Bitchy Jones.
Even more atypical she would like to discover some Femdom porn that a woman can enjoy.
I do not want pop ups, sick-making banner ads, dodgy stuff getting downloaded illegally onto my hard drive. And most, most, most of all I don’t want pics of cardboard-cut-out-stylee femdoms practising their mad dominatrixing skillz on a man who is ugly or masked (I *like* breath play, I like faces more) or fat or with greying chest hair over a paunch.
And, this, this small request, is - it would seem - too much to ask.
*All* the femdom porn out there is squarely aimed at sub men. Now, I don’t mind some or even most of it being aimed at sub men. I get the economic argument. Subs spend money on porn and wank like monkeys. We know this. That’s why we *have* to tie you up sometimes for your own good. But all of it! Hey, no fair. I mean, I know for a fact that there are a few other dom women out there, how come we get nothing?
Is Female Domination Unnatural?
Is there anything invalidating female domination in prehistory and ancient sex roles? No. But some people think so.
These comments are by the estimable Sartan:
I’ll dredge up an overused (and under-understood) term… needs. Human needs are founded innately and influenced, heavily some might claim, by
environment… particularly that of early life. Dominance as a personality
trait is founded in needs, not choice. A person who finds themselves driven to
be dominant is so because associated roles and behaviors meet their needs
better than other modes of interpersonal contact. The same is true for
submission.The “men are dominant, women are submissive” theory… it just doesn’t jibe,
IMO. As a personality trait (as opposed to sociocultural phenomenon, which has
absolutely no probative value here), there is no significant evidence
supporting radical juxtaposition by gender. Nearly all human characteristics
reflect something close to a standard distribution… height, weight,
intelligence, etc. No reason exists to suppose innate interpersonal mode
drivers should be different. …
The vast majority of human relationships settle to a mutually understood power
dymanic. That’s fundamentally what “power exchange” means. Of course, we
(meaning BDSMers, SMer, kinksters, whatever term you prefer) use the term to
indicate this plus a bit more… explicitness in this mutual understanding. My
mother and father were in a “power exchange,” although they certainly didn’t
call it that, nor do most folks today. However, there was a distinct disparity
in interpersonal power in their relationship.Leads right into the next example of confusion. A cornerstone of your
“evidence” has been the predominance of “male-dominated” social structures in
human history. What does that mean, exactly? What does “dominant” in the
sense used in you conclusion (that men are naturally dominant and women
naturally submissive) mean? Even a cursory examination reveals that these are
two entirely different concepts. …
Femdom Test
Have you been wondering if you really are a dominant woman, a female that enjoys power over her lover?
Here’s one test:
If you’re questioning what people refer to as your ‘dominance’ I would just ask yourself how holding a whip (or something that works for you) makes you feel. If you get a good feeling from that and what it symbolizes then you have at the least some kind of dominant streak and of course you don’t have to be perfect