HersForever writes about the different kinds of inflicted pain within a BDSM relationship:
For me, however, I think that the pain and desire to submit to the pain is part of a desire to return to my childhood, where a strong figure controlled my life, decided what was in my best interest, and worked to mold me into a better person.
That being said, there is a difference in pain used for discipline and pain used in play. Pain used as a discipline tool, is not enjoyable in the sense that pain in play is. During Disipline, the knowledge that I let down my Mistress changes my perception, and I do not want to repeat this pain. Instead, I submit trusting that Mistress has my best interest in mind and is trying to make me a better person.
Masochist: Nature or Nurture?
How do you punish someone who enjoys being flogged? Almost all responses are psychological. Probably the most common is to ignore the submissive person.
Mistress Kika’s solution – stop being his dominant – sounds paradoxical but she always seems to know what to do and it worked.
I could choose many ways to discipline him, flog him, mark him, bind him and leave, but in the end I knew that none of these work in the long run. he has to want to submit to Me. It is not a game for Me to play hide & seek with his desires. In the end I choose to deny him Me being a Mistress to him for a week, something he was taken aback with. he felt that denying him this, I was denying his submissive part of who he was, thus not caring for him. But as I pointed out to him, the moment he chose to disrespect Me and behave towards Me in such a manner, his submissive part had already been denied to Me. his submissive side did come back quickly, but I’m not feeling inclined to acknowledge it for a while. I still feel a bit raw with the whole situation and time will help to set things straight between U/us.
Sprite-space & how troublesome it can be at times
While Aunt Kay’s The Disciplinary Wives Club doesn’t feature a blog it does have stories by real people in marriages where the wife disciplines her husband.
Michael is kept on the demerit system, with a list of points allocated to inappropriate deeds. At 100 points, a full over the knee bare bottom spanking takes place. This also includes loss of privileges, such as having to leave the car in the garage for a week and being made to walk to work or missing his sports on the television. He acquires 5 points for items such as, being late for dinner, not cleaning up the shower after use, failing to place the toilet seat down etc. A hefty 25 points is obtained for being rude, impolite to either myself of friends. And so forth.
Each penalty point is paid out with one spank of the implement that I use. Michael can trade in demerit points at will for return of privileges. Last week he gave me 150 points so that he could attend a golf tournament that he would have missed. The next day his bottom was burning and he was in a great deal of discomfort sitting down.
The Disciplinary Wives Club
Cruel Karen wanted a way to discipline her husband that would bypass his masochistic pleasure in pain. Whie she discovered a very effected technique in kicking the heels of his feet it proved too damaging to be repeated. Another example of the inevitable learning curve in BDSM.
He loves a caning after a nice warm up with my hand just before we make love, that of course requires that I’m in a good mood which I wasn’t, it is very frustrating to have my demands fall on deaf ears, he rather suffer a hard caning than phoning me in front of his friends.
Last month’s punishment session was very hard and its corrective effects lasted for more than a month whereas the physical effects are still lingering, my mother had told me in the past that when my granma kicked my uncles in the heels they suffered the effects for long periods of time, she did it wearing hard soled sandals but I did it wearing a very hard and heavy pair of wooden platform sandals and the effects were devastating, my husband has been getting off the bed with a sharp heel pain that makes him limp for several minutes every morning, the pain has been diminishing but it is still there.
When he needs a severe punishment session I always make sure he suffers, I cane him hard and kick his shins with no mercy to force him to mantain his position, this was the first time I kicked him in the heels so I didn’t know exactly for how long he would suffer the effects of the kicks.
Link to whole entry
I do so wish aspirant well. I was quite struck by the device he describes:
For the first time she is also mandating that I spend some time each day in meditation. More accurately, she has ruled that each day I will either meditate or spend time in the prickle box.
I’m not sure if I have written about the prickle box before. It is a steel box, about 2 by 2 by 4 feet, into which I can uncomfortably fit. The inside is lined, bottom, sides, and top, with carpet protector, with the prickly side exposed. Time in the prickle box is a bit of an ordeal.