Prose
-
Choosing a Collar
Mistress Leah ponders the aesthetics of slave collars:
I’m not that into the accoutrements of the goth/bdsm subculture that relies on tons of black and vinyl and studs etc. I want something that has more evocative power something that says dominance and ownership in a way that I find alluring and sexy. This is a collar for my sexual stimulation, I want it to reflect that. My collar is something that will wear with time; I want something that wears gracefully with use, like your favorite belt. I want something that smells like a tannery and evokes images of hard working tanned farmhands not dungeons and the possible smell of mold. Something that represents what wearing a collar means to me. I want this collar to represent my romantic cultural imaginary, not the one that has been deemed appropriate by Goth teens and a subculture that I am still intimidated by and not really ready to belong to. Not to say that’s wrong, that’s just not how I roll. I don’t want him in studs and skulls all fluffed out like a rapper’s pit-bull. I want this collar to represent a sense of ownership that also doesn’t reference teen angst, punk music and its creation: Avril Lavigne.
Fantasies
The always delightful Angela St. Lawrence:
Because I do rather like being being behind the wheel in boy-girl games in my real life. It’s just in real life the game is one of sublime subtlety rather than the grab-you-by-the-balls immediacy so necessary to fantasy phone. Talk is cheap and it seems to me that a true Goddess wouldn’t need to brag about her prowess; she already knows it and smart men (the only men worth seducing) will know it too. Which means that I don’t advertise my life, I advertise my talents. TWO ENTIRELY DIFFERENT THINGS. But, if you get to know me well enough, you just might get to hear some inside dope.
The other thing is that I happen to be quite good at fantasy. I LIKE intricate role plays in which I am given a free hand so that I can work my magic, developing a story line around a caller’s particular kink. For example, I am very good at creating shemale fantasies. (I could actually create an entirely new persona as a TS, so that I would more frequently get those types of calls. And, honestly, I’ve thought about it–although I haven’t done so yet.)
Reaction Top / Service Top
!
The word of the day is adaptability.
This is part one of three on being a reaction top.
I say that a lot, that I’m a reaction top. It’s the most concise way I could come up with to explain why I like the things I do.
Eileen has written one of the most enjoyable posts ever on being a top. Go read all of I Want It.
Fetish Toy Discount
About a month ago Alexandra and I each wrote reviews of the flogger and cat o’ nine tails that Blue Rose sent us to try. We were delighted by them.
Blue Rose has offered a special discount to our readers:
Thank you kindly for the wonderful review…and yes, alot of love goes into each of my creations.. anyone mentioning this article or Alexandra’s will recieve 15% off total order. Just include “CODE DOMK”
We don’t make a penny out of this deal: it is legit.
My review: Cat O’ Nine Tails & Flogger Reviewed
Heroic Masochist
I think heroic masochist describes the lat Bob Flanagan better than supermasochist. Only the other day did I discover that some of his words are on the web. A sample:
I used to scream bloody murder and beg for mercy, but that only made her more excited. She knew she could do whatever she wanted with me, screams or no screams. Besides, my dopey dick gave me away, waving like a beanstalk with every crack of the whip. I didn’t always love the pain, but I always loved her. In that, too, however, there was no mercy. I screamed until I was hoarse, “What the fuck do you want?” But there was no answer. She didn’t want anything, not even me.
Elsewhere his Pain Journal
Kinky Theatre & BDSM Honorics
Mistress
The social and aesthetic associations with the term “Mistress” as it is used in female domination is a thread currently running on Fetish Lore.
… I would have a very hard time maintaining top space if a submissive addressed me as ‘Mistress’, especially if accompanied with the ‘as you wish’. I’m pretty sure I’d bust out laughing and have to call “cut”
One of my biggest fears in D/s is for the top or myself to say something that violates the internal integrity of scene space.
BDSM as Theatre
While some people resent describing power exchange sessions as theatre, BDSM as constructed drama works very well for me. The objections are much of a kind with those of describing it as play.
Some of that can be dismissed as a lack of genuine literary aesthetics: were you able to go back in time and visit a civilization like classical Athens during the age of the great tragedians the idea of theatre as trivial would be wholly foreign.
Many people also see evoking literary drama as an image of D/s as saying that the interaction is insincere. Acknowledging that we are engaged in a deliberate creation doesn’t diminish anything.
Honorifics & Titles in D/s
In a thread on BDSM honorifics and titles Lavender Scorpion wrote:
I love to hear my name. I find this to be so totally thrilling. It is so intimate in ways another honorific could never be.
My guess was:
I’m surprised more people don’t feel that way. It is two individuals that are exchanging power, not two generic roles.
But some people do use the titles as a way of distinguishing scene space.
Have you given thought to the theatrical nature of BDSM? To the title you use for yourself or addressing the other person?
How does all this work for you? In actual practice? In what you’d like or prefer to do?
- Is it OK to call BDSM play?
- To see D/s as theatre?
- Is it deadly serious stuff?
Is your title something you take seriously? Even if you are bottom and addressed as “slave” or similar?
- Would actual names be better for you?
- Or why not?
- Do you like your title / role term?
- Is there a secret one you want to use but haven’t?
Being Kinky is Great
On and off I’ve posted lists of various aspects of power exchange and sadomasochism and the value they’ve added to my life. Often I’ve hoped they would inspire similar lists from others. So I was very happy to discover Kink in Exile’s list which was partly prompted by one of mine.
Passion – I was having a hard time coming up with a tenth thing for this list so I took a little break and read kink blogs for a while. I am amazed by how passionate they seem. I am amazed by the community I am a part of and by the people who day after day lay their cards on the table and fess up to those dirty dark secrets. I am awed by the passion, boldness and spirit that I see in the kink community. These are people who make the decision over and over again that their desires, their wants, and their needs are worth pursuing political careers be damned.
10 Best things about being kinky
Anyone feel like coming up with their own 20 Maxims About BDSM?
Hurt Me in Ways I Don’t Want
Few male BDSM blog writers touch my pansexual switch heart (and libido) as agreeably as maymay:
But then there are the things that, no, I really don’t want them to happen and if you do them to me I’ll fight and scream and cry and beg you to stop. And those are the things I want to have happen because I love the fighting, the screaming, the crying, the begging, but most of all the very fact that I’m not enjoying myself. I won’t like it when you do it, but I’ll love that you did it. It probably won’t turn me on while it’s happening (though it might), but I’ll masturbate to the memories of it later. And oh, it’ll be good.
Pain - like poetry - can be wonderful when recollected in traquility. A special five minutes can burn brightly in the mind for a long, long time.
Femdom Fetish Illustration
Veronica Vinyl’s blog hasn’t been updated in some time. Still there is some of her art and comments thereon.
I just think this little piece is cute as all hell. It’s a little homage to a tiny group of fetishists known as Giantess worshipers. Their fantasy is to either encounter really large women, and attempt to serve, or to be shrunk to a size where they can be used and abused by full-sized Goddesses. It’s a power exchange made in dimension.
The poor little tiny man is bound to the heel of the woman’s shoe, serving only as a strap on her shoe, a decorative doo-dad. I think this piece speaks to people with objectification fantasies, and possibly those with shoe fetishes or foot fetishes. What could be more exciting for a foot fetishist, seeing a giant ladies meta tarsus crashing down before them. …