Eileen has finished her wonderful trilogy about being a reaction top.
All the foolish – and often perpetually lonely – dominants who make outlandish black and white demands should burn some of her words into their brains:
The free flow of conversation as negotiation as conversation is part of the way that I understand kink. Kink, for me, is not contained within formalized boundaries. There are no signposts that stop and start my kinky identity. I suspect, sometimes, that sex and kink have become somewhat estranged children in the public scene partially because of the practice of formalizing kinky interactions within certain time constraints, or certain types of speech. Sex, on the other hand, gets to cross boundaries, show up in casual conversations, evolve instinctively and play out naturally.
And here’s one approach that many submissive men – I’ll admit to it – have sometimes in confessing our dreams:
Remember I mentioned how hard it is for people to articulate what they like? In the ongoing give and take of ideas, listening to conversations and gleaning information subtly is an engaging intellectual challenge. I have to admit though, sometimes nothing compares to tying a submissive down and just forcing the fantasies out, all wrapped up in trembly words and moaning. It’s amazing what people will tell you when lust has broken down those polite barriers in our brains.
I once had an S&M erotic dream: Mistress and I were lying n on a palette in the middle of a living room. I was nude and erect and my ass was on fire from a recent paddling. Mistress was in her panties and bra. I was on my side behind her, gently massaging her shoulder, sore from the whore beating she’d just given me. 3 dommes sat around the room and stared in eye popping envy!
That dream might be a nice ice breaker if you’re both at least half drunk, but revealing yourself is always tough.