Femdom Porn —– For Women!
How many blogs by dominant women are funny? Not nearly enough. Then there’s Bitchy Jones.
Even more atypical she would like to discover some Femdom porn that a woman can enjoy.
I do not want pop ups, sick-making banner ads, dodgy stuff getting downloaded illegally onto my hard drive. And most, most, most of all I don’t want pics of cardboard-cut-out-stylee femdoms practising their mad dominatrixing skillz on a man who is ugly or masked (I *like* breath play, I like faces more) or fat or with greying chest hair over a paunch.
And, this, this small request, is – it would seem – too much to ask.
*All* the femdom porn out there is squarely aimed at sub men. Now, I don’t mind some or even most of it being aimed at sub men. I get the economic argument. Subs spend money on porn and wank like monkeys. We know this. That’s why we *have* to tie you up sometimes for your own good. But all of it! Hey, no fair. I mean, I know for a fact that there are a few other dom women out there, how come we get nothing?
Originally posted 2007-03-13 18:42:51.
Are Bottoms More Verbal Than Tops?
Why do masochistic and submissive men (and women) write more about their experiences and feelings that dominant women and men and sadists?
While this doesn’t seem to be quite the web truism that it once was, clearly more bottoms blog and post on forums than to tops. Is there some hidden psychological factor at work?
Originally posted 2007-06-21 17:56:46.
Weekdays and frequency.
It only occurs on the weekends. The weekdays are pretty normal. She may be reluctant for sex around Wednesday or Thursday "If I satisfy you now, you will not be in the mood this weekend". But it is never the same Submissive/Dominance routine we go through some weekends.
We have been playing the game (that is one of our names for it) for over 2.5 years on some weekends. We have gone through months, where ever weekend we played. We have gone a month at a time when we do not play. We only play on weekends when we do not have a lot going on. (For example, it is hard for me to do her bidding if she is off with her sister for most of the weekend). So I guess in the past 2.5 years we have played about 50 weekends, or just under 50%.
When it started, I always had to initiate or volunteer for it. But as the years have past, my wife has become more and more vocal about wanting it and enjoying it. She has come to enjoy her relaxing weekends, she enjoys the house staying clean, and she enjoys the attention. I felt guilt at the beginning, she never shares a hidden fantasy with me, but when I shared mine (being submissive) she gave it a try. But since she ask for it so often, I have come to believe she enjoys it as well…
Domme Aftercare
Many men write of wanting an unforgiving, overwhelming demanding, harsh and cruel dominant woman. Some men must have exactly that. Others of us are very much in love with our sadistic “Mistress.”
Maybe there are times this real flesh and blood person needs extra tender responsiveness after a strenuous power exchange. This came to mind when Alexandra wrote:
Dominants rarely speak of enjoying aftercare and for me it’s usually a time of quiet motherly leadership and reassuring affection, but I’m lucky in that my pet has a nurturing, almost motherly streak of his own (I have noted that at rare times he almost becomes womanly, though not in an overtly feminine way). Letting me squeeze him possessively and having him rub my worries away has always been a blessing for all aspects of my psyche.
If the woman needs post-scene care …
- Does that mean she isn’t a tough enough Domme?
- It is something you are willing to tolerate?
- That you love her even more?
Do you think dominant women tend to need aftercare?
- Yes
- Depends
- Maybe
- No
Do you think most men neglect this?
- Yes
- No
Is the neglect caused by:
- A lack of understanding, empathy?
- Too many Femdom porn sites?
- Selfishness?
- Laziness?
Additional F/m Aftercare References:
Originally posted 2007-05-11 08:34:06.
Accepting Yourself as Sadist, Domme or Dom
Regardless of the power and control they may eventually come to enjoy with their submissive life mates and play partners some dominants pass through a phase when they struggle with their needs and cravings.
Was it a struggle to face your dominance, your sadism?
- Did wanting to hurt another – even though they wanted it – make you feel as if you were a bad person?
- Knowing that having someone kneel before you in worship thrilled you, did that make you feel you were emotionally depraved?
- Did you feel shame or guilt?
- That you were possibly psychotic and needed to be medicated, in therapy or perhaps locked up?
- Perhaps would even find yourself in jail?
- That no one could love someone with your passions?
Did you pass through an inner baptism of dominance? How did you overcome the negative social and psychological stereotypes?
Are you still struggling with this kind of emotional turmoil?
One of Three in a Row
Originally posted 2007-07-15 17:01:32.
The Biochemistry of Masochism
I’ve extracted four bits to convince you that you might like to go read the entire article. The author speculatively explores the biochemical basis of the pleasure that masochists like myself get from pain.
A pain impulse will set off adrenaline production. Adrenaline is a “home made” (by the body) drug that will first of all create a state of higher alert. Adrenaline is produced when the body or mind experiences or suspects stress, pain, danger or uncertainty. Managers and sports people are usually real adrenaline junks and so are many of the people who are into erotic power exchange.
Endorphins may be – at least to a certain extent – one of the things lifestyle erotic power exchange revolves around. Although it is way too early for any scientific conclusions, it is becoming apparant endorphins play an important role in erotic power exchange scenes. Although endorphins are relatively “new” to the medical world – and even more so to psychologists and psychiatrists – it is quite generally acknowledged they play an important part in both our physical and psychological reactions.
Last but certainly not least the release of gonadotropin triggers the production of steroid hormones (amongst others the male sex hormone testosteron and the female counterpart oestrogen). To keep it plain and simple and very unscientific – there appears to be a direct links between endorphins (a.k.a. “emotion amino acids”) and the production of steroid hormones. Since we know some of the endorphins trigger direct EPE related emotions such as responses to pain, humiliation, uncertainty, love and affection, there seems to be a direct hormonal link between these emotions and sexual arousal. Why this happens to some people and not to others is probably the question that will eventually be found somewhere in the DNA-encoding.
Serotonin, found in many parts of the body, has immediate emotional effects. An increase of serotonin that follows introduction of its biological precursor into the brain generates signs of ecstasy and euphoria. Drugs that immitate the effects of serotonin have analogous chemical structures and produce excitement, hallucination and agitation. Drugs that are serotonin antagonists tend to generate feelings of depression. Psilocybin (found in certain mushrooms), used in Yucatán for centuries to induce trance states and LSD are serotonin-like.
Read all of Hormonal reactions and influences
Originally posted 2006-11-12 11:39:27.
Cuckoldry : The Consequences
Part of a meditation by Oldbear on voluntary cuckolding in Femdom relationships. I strongly suggest anyone wishing to be cuckolded read the entire essay:
Perhaps the answer lies in the powerful biochemical conditions that accompany good sex. Perhaps a common theme when cuckolding goes wrong in a good marriage is the transfer of positive emotions from spouse to the new lover? Perhaps some of it is the result of unrestrained slavishness meeting up with hedonism taken unto selfishness. Can a great thing like submission and service be taken far enough to cause a lady to disregard or even discard a person who was once the most special person in her life?
Cuckolding Part II-why it might ruin a good thing
Originally posted 2006-11-29 12:59:44.
Not going to be “So Macho”
Working extra hours at work and then getting home, having to shave, put my make-up and female clothes on, make dinner and do my chores is a real drag (no pun intended), but that’s not to say I really mind that much. Miss and I did sit down and have a long chat after my last post, and it did make me come to realise and understand certain things. I know now that is laughable for me to “be her man” because I can’t be. Allowing my masculinity to be locked away, accepting dressing as a girl but most importantly “accepting” Miss’s relationship with Chris changed how she thought and looked at me. She did admit that although she still loved me, she was not “in love” with me. I have to admit it did make me cry, but she was so soft and sensitive and we ended up cuddling into the early hours.
So the outcome?
Yes, I am still wearing the CB-3000. To be honest it’s so long since I even started to get aroused it doesn’t even feel like I could or ever did.
Yes, I am still dressing as a girl; underwear all day and full make-up, my wig, clothes and heels in the evening and at weekends.
The one positive thing is Miss is not interested in getting a new boyfriend, although she did admit if she met a guy she liked she would start seeing him. As you can imagine I have, literally, been bending over backwards to keep her happy (she is still pretty cut up and upset about Chris) and make her life as easy and fun as possible. She has taken the break-up out on me somewhat, but I suppose that’s to be expected, as we are so close. She does have Miss Catherine, but she hasn’t spent that muh time with her because Tony is one of Chris’s best friends. I do think she feels that Chris may have been scared off because of me, and she did insinuate that if I’d been “more of a man” she would never had to start seeing him in the first place. I suppose she has a point. I’m glad that it’s just us two again and I really am trying my best to make this work and keep us together.
Things have got “back to normal” so to speak, although the first Sunday after we had our heart-to-heart I was punished far more than I had before. I had my hands cuffed behind my back, as I do every Sunday when I am unlocked and cleaned. Miss came up and gave me a hug…for a moment I thought it would lead to some intimacy between us…and in a way I suppose it did. Before I knew anything about it she’d quickly raised her knee between my legs. I fell to the floor in agony, banging the side of my head on the bath. I could hardly breath, it felt like my testicles had been pushed up into my stomach and I was in a cold sweat. Miss quickly knelt next to me,
“Are you OK?” she asked with a real look of concern and worry on her face.
I tried to answer but all the breath had been knocked out of me and I could only nod.
“I’m so sorry, darling, but you know you deserved that?”
Again I could only nod.
For the rest of the day I had a dull ache in my testicles, which I suppose served as a reminder that I will never be “her man” and I had no right to even suggest it. I shan’t even be thinking of it again.
Orgasm or Cane?
A submissive husband is offered a pair of alternatives:
Last night Mistress allowed me to penetrate Her and then gave me a choice. I could cum in Her, in which case I would face a roll of the dice today, or I could withdraw without orgasm, and not have to roll the dice.
I chose not to cum. Those canes hurt. Once I told Mistress this, and remained inside Her, She turned up the pressure a bit, and said I must withdraw within what she deemed to be two minutes, otherwise I would face the cane anyway. I did not push it too hard (no pun intended) and after a deliciously warm but relatively short pleasure I withdrew safely and we slept.
I am definitely a better slave to Mistress when I have not cum, and I prefer to avoid the dice. My arse has cuts in it from where Mistress has laid on the cane.
Originally posted 2007-02-24 13:30:49.
A Humane Contract
The most famous M/s contract is a ghastly joke, over specifying far too many details of behavior. Probably more often reproduced than followed.
Many are straightforward statements of power and responsibility. But they aren’t imaginative or individual to the couple. Just sort of embody a number of BDSM clichés.
The contract that Dev is working on is a fine human document really fit to clarify and provide assurance for the two people in the relationship.
Example:
You may sometimes fear that you don’t know how to serve me. It is my wish that you be calm and relaxed and trust that if I am not pleased, or if I have a desire, I will express it. If you are not pleasing me I will correct you. If I want your service I will demand it. And please trust that I will often want and demand your service.
I want you to strive. I want you to hold yourself to high standards. But I also want you to accept my love, kindness, and mercy. I want you to view yourself with love and forgiveness. I want you to understand that I see you as a beautiful person deserving of love.
Originally posted 2008-05-16 09:39:16.
